A never-ending trial with Tweets and mean names.

Yeah okay, so, the Senate voted to let Trûmp keep on squatting in the White House. Which is hardly a surprise. I’m just annoyed they didn’t spend longer on the trial. So, for the case of the GOP Senators who almost without exception (Mitt Romney being the exception!) toed the Trûmp Party line, I have a new theory which is probably wrong but it’s no sillier than the shit that’s actually happening on this timeline, so hear me out: Trûmp is literally ordering hits on elected officials.

Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Oh) writes in NYT that his colleagues turned the impeachment into a non-trial because they’re all skeered of getting in trouble:

Late in the evening on day four of the trial I saw it, just 10 feet across the aisle from my seat at Desk 88, when Mr. Schiff told the Senate: “CBS News reported last night that a Trump confidant said that Republican senators were warned, ‘Vote against the president and your head will be on a pike.’” The response from Republicans was immediate and furious. Several groaned and protested and muttered, “Not true.” But pike or no pike, Mr. Schiff had clearly struck a nerve. (In the words of Lizzo: truth hurts.)

Look, there’s a lot of hearsay in this. A lot of he said they said somebody else said someone’s threatening people. There are several degrees of separation between Sen. Brown and any statement that could be proven true or false. However? As he is in fact a Senator, there’s also a lot more proximity to the problem than most of us will ever have.

So, from his place at Desk 88 in the Senate chamber, the GOP peeps’ motivation looks especially pathetic. Sen. Brown continues:

They are afraid that Mr. Trump might give them a nickname like “Low Energy Jeb” and “Lyin’ Ted,” or that he might tweet about their disloyalty. Or — worst of all — that he might come to their state to campaign against them in the Republican primary. They worry:

“Will the hosts on Fox attack me?”

“Will the mouthpieces on talk radio go after me?”

“Will the Twitter trolls turn their followers against me?”

And again I ask: are there actual, identifiable Senators saying this shit? Are these clowns seriously afraid of the Dampnut’s Twitter account? Or is this just Sen. Brown’s speculation? Getting a little more specific:

In private, many of my colleagues agree that the president is reckless and unfit. They admit his lies. And they acknowledge what he did was wrong. They know this president has done things Richard Nixon never did. And they know that more damning evidence is likely to come out.

So watching the mental contortions they perform to justify their votes is painful to behold: They claim that calling witnesses would have meant a never-ending trial. They tell us they’ve made up their minds, so why would we need new evidence? They say to convict this president now would lead to the impeachment of every future president — as if every president will try to sell our national security to the highest bidder.

 

  1. Calling witnesses would mean a never-ending trial: well, yes, it would have taken at least a few weeks to hear out the people on the list. Are they afraid witnesses would have led to more witnesses, and then another tier of witnesses from them? Maybe. Yeah, and, as Senators, it’s their job to deal with that. I expect the real anxiety is how some of their constituents would’ve acted out during that never-ending trial with Trûmp calling them mean names on Twitter.
  2. They’ve made up their minds, so why would they need new evidence? So again, my question to them would be, why have you made up your minds already? Oh, right, we all know the Refuglican Party has collectively abandoned the pretense of actually giving a fuck about America, but then I’d like to know why they would say, in as many words, to a Democratic colleague, that they’ve made up their minds already. If this is what they’ll say out loud to someone on the other side, what are they covering up?
  3. To convict this “president” now would lead to the impeachment of every future president: now this is just sad. Those numb-nuts don’t even believe this shit. They may believe everyone else is just as corrupt and amoral as they are, but they do not actually think this trial would set a precedent that would set up every future POTUS for impeachment. They just say this because they’re covering up something much worse.

So, going back to the “he said/they said” from Rep. Schiff, my silly theory is that the “head on a pike” warning is a threat of actual death. Trûmp and his minions are making serious threats of lethal violence on elected officials who step out of line. They’ve done it often enough and credibly enough that the GOP Senators are seriously unwilling to challenge the Trûmp occupation and unwilling to explain why.

Either way, I know the GOP is the true Red Menace and the rightwing element in America has collectively lost its goddamn mind.

We progressives can’t make them see reason…but we can outvote them this November.

“No more Mr. Nice Prez, mofos!”

Shorter version: “Kiss my brown Hawaiian-born ‘nads, GOPers and Fuck-Snoozers!”

Am I the only one getting chunks of time cut out of the Seth Meyers video? That is seriously bugging me. Tim Pawlenty makes Al Gore look like WHAT, exactly?!

Edit: Of course Google answers my question, but YouTube should not force us to resort to search engines to find punchlines to jokes shown in their videos.

Sen. Cornyn, the word here is “PWN’d.”

Dahlia Lithwick smacks down the Senators who voted against the Franken Amendment:

Then John Cornyn of Texas whined about how the evil Franken was “trying to tap into the natural sympathy that we have for this victim of this rape—and use that as a justification to frankly misrepresent and embarrass his colleagues.” It takes a special kind of narcissist to say a victim of gang rape isn’t suffering as much as the embarrassed senators who voted against her.

Perhaps Sen. Cornyn would like some aloe for that BURN.

Where is this “we,” Senator? I don’t see you showing any sympathy for Jamie Leigh Jones.

I would like to thank my dad for not being Scott Brown.

Scott Brown wants you to know that his daughters are available.

What kind of freak show advertises the fact that his pretty college-age daughters are “available” when his job means his family is already subjected to pathological scrutiny?

Oh, that’s right: a politician.

I understand that we basically get the politicians we deserve. I get that we treat our elected officials so inappropriately that it takes, shall we say, a certain type to run for office. I certainly wouldn’t want the news media sniffing up my butt every time I yawn, so I can’t really pretend to be surprised when our politicians are freak shows.

And yet, most of them manage to deliver a decent acceptance speech without pimping out their daughters. Bill Clinton was a compulsive lecherous perv but he and Hillary managed to not to subject Chelsea to any more fishbowl treatment than they could help.

Something tells me those girls are going to write memoirs a few years from now.