Just how much absurdity are we talking about?

Well, bugger me with a spear, THIS sounds like fun. Via my man Josh Hill at FanSided, HBO is giving us a Game of Thrones after-show starting this year, called After the Thrones, produced by Bill Simmons.

The current trend in television is to capitalize not only on your hit show but to do so to the fullest possible extent. The Walking Dead has gone beyond this and begun spinning itself off, but the comfortable way to capitalize on your show is to produce an after show that geeks out about the latest episode that millions of people just watched.

Following the link in Josh’s story, Deadline goes into more detail, and tells us:

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Yes, I CAN nerd around with cast lists!

Someone at Watchers posted the stub for Season 6 Episode 1 that just popped up on HBO, and I got a little excited over it. For context, there are the cast lists shown for first episodes of previous seasons.

HBO doesn’t seem to have the same information posted for the very first episode, but starting with Season 2, we get:

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I’m betting we won’t get a real trailer, either.

The latest news of the “Game of Thrones won’t give us any valuable information” variety is that HBO is, for the first time, not releasing any S6 episodes to the press before airing:

Some kind of change to the process was expected after last year’s screener episodes leaked onto piracy websites before the season premiere. HBO has since switched to an online streaming website for review purposes, but apparently tougher measures are being implemented when it comes to Game of Thrones. 

“It’s painful for Dan and David [when leaks happen],” Lombardo says to EW. “When you have press copies, inevitably friends ask, ‘Can I see your copy?’ There are things that happen. We talked about the upsides and downsides. Some of the press are fans who might be disappointed, but they’ll understand.”

I’ve said before that the underwhelming, semi-professional-looking teaser materials they’ve been releasing to us this year are a considered choice, not just thoughtless laziness. Their stinginess with new content is a wise response to the metric tons of information that’s been leaked to fandom (mostly through Watchers, though Winter occasionally gets something first) during the filming season.

And with that in mind, the decision not to release screener episodes makes perfect sense. Not just because everyone’s waiting for Jon Snow’s resurrection, though that’s a factor. Many of us fans already know way too much, and it’s in HBO’s interest not to give us any more puzzle-pieces. Especially when there are some fans who will make a feast of any morsel they throw at us and do things like analyze patterns and search for conspicuous omissions from a random bunch of dead faces mounted on a dark wall. If I were a bigwig at HBO, and I knew of fans like me, I wouldn’t trust them with any new content, either.

 

We’re headed for a Riverlands Reunion!

Hey, no big deal, just that Winter is Coming ran a piece with my name on it.

So far, a theme common to all these journeys is that most of the characters are not native to the Riverlands. Arya is from the North, Tywin and his knights are from the Westerlands, Hot Pie and Gendry are from the Crownlands (King’s Landing), and Jaqen H’Ghar is from Braavos. This is a vital feature of the Riverlands: everyone else in the realm has to travel through it, and everyone has business to conduct there, but when that business is finished, the rest of the realm does not stay long enough to clean up the mess.

Go read more of The Riverlands: Heartland of Westeros. See if you can tell where I am the biggest goddamn troll in the Game of Thrones community.

 

POUR ME SOME WINE.

Status

Based on someone else’s pitch on the Slack channel (I assure you I’m not spewing nonsense), I have an idea for my next Game of Thrones piece before the DVD set!

Don’t worry, I’m not poaching someone else’s idea; they will be very different pieces. This will be ambitious. Possibly a bit too ambitious. I may be in danger of embarrassing myself just a tiny bit. 

BUT IT WILL BE FUN. THERE ARE NO NERDS LIKE ME. 

You can be a taxpaying adult and still act like this.

Proving that I am basically just killing time until Season 6, today I spent some perfectly useful time trying to match cast members to audio commentary tracks in the Season 5 DVD set. No, really, you guys, this happened.

The info we have on audio commentaries so far is:

  • Audio Commentaries – Twelve audio commentaries with cast and crew including David Benioff, D.B. Weiss, Peter Dinklage, Lena Headey, Kit Harington, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Iain Glen, Maisie Williams, Natalie Dormer, Gwendoline Christie and more.

Yeah, so, based on previous seasons’ audio commentaries, we can have 2-4 people per track. No more than 2 cast members per track. Crew includes writer/producers such as David & Dan (already listed), directors, directors of photography, costume designers, production designers, etc. Probably some special effects creators, sound designers, and so forth. Lots of interesting people can share their opinions in the commentaries. GRRM has done commentary tracks in the past, but as he didn’t write any of the episodes in S5, I don’t think he’ll be on board.

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Happiness is About the Little Things

Last night, during my traditional New Year’s Eve Party of One, I went into Google Drive and rewrote the Night’s Watch oath. (Blame my GoT buddy Patrick. The idea started from an exchange with him on Twitter.) Then I went to Notegraphy and dressed it up.

HBOgathersandnow

HBO gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until Game of Thrones is cancelled. I shall increase no entities beyond what is necessary, believe no update on IMDB, and start from no false premises. I shall accept no cast member’s spoilers and accuse no director of lying. I shall live and die at my blog. I am the eyes in the comment sections. I am the watcher of the Twitter list. I am the shield that guards the realms of hype. I pledge my time and sanity to the off-season, for this day and all the blog posts to come.

Beware of actors bearing stuffed animals, is all I’m saying. #RememberTheDuck

And this morning we got a nice New Year’s greeting from Gwen! I replied to her.

And she Liked my Tweet. It’s these little things that make me happy.

 

Game of Silliness: Christmas Edition

More in the “Smartasses having fun on twitter” vein, I spotted a silly hashtag today and joined in the game!

Wormy wins the goddamn Internet.

(That’s sung to the tune of “Silver Bells,” in case it wasn’t obvious.)

So, SO many people did “I saw Mommy kissing Uncle Jaime.” It was cute the first 3 times, maybe.

My first contribution to the tag ended up being really popular for some reason:

One little spoiler before I go: