Assholes to the right of me…

…and I suppose there are also assholes to the left, but they’re not drawing a lot of attention to themselves lately.

Think Progress brings us these charming remarks from South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer:

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better,” Bauer said.

Comparing poor people to stray animals! Real classy, Mr. Bauer! I won’t blame his grandmother for teaching him that the way to cut the cycle of poverty is to let people starve. That’s a much bigger problem than one grandparent could have solved.

Later in his speech, Bauer said, “I can show you a bar graph where free and reduced lunch has the worst test scores in the state of South Carolina,” adding, “You show me the school that has the highest free and reduced lunch, and I’ll show you the worst test scores, folks. It’s there, period.“

What’s that you say? There’s a positive correlation between family income and academic achievement? Color me astonished! It looks like no one ever pointed out to Mr. Bauer that poverty creates problems for education, so he thought it was totally new information when he saw the correlation on a bar graph. I suppose it’s because of that previous ignorance that he thinks the way to make poor children do better in school is to punish them for their parents’ immoral decision to breed, and let them go hungry.

I can’t fully explain how poverty gets in the way of schooling, and I don’t know if anyone can really explain it all that much better, but I’ve worked with enough children to know that hunger doesn’t make their little brains function any better.

According to the comments, Mr. Bauer is also a pro-lifer. He wants to make sure every child gets a chance at life, just as long as xe doesn’t expect to eat.

But, you know, it wouldn’t be fair of me to assume that, just because he’s a pro-life Republican, he’s apathetic or hostile to family planning. I’ve checked his website, and…

Health Care: nothing about family planning.

Empowering Our Youth: nothing about family planning.

Right to Life: Two sentences. Nothing about contraception. Nothing about any efforts to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

Let me see if I have this straight:

–He has nothing to say about contraception, whereas

–Every fetus deserves a chance at life, however

–If you can’t provide for your children, you shouldn’t have any.

Seriously, Andre Bauer: what?