I blame Trump’s America for making me so mean.

It seems Assad is talking trash about Trumpty Numpty’s governing abilities.

This is worse than watching the Battle of the Blackwater. Rather than just “one pack of assholes attacking another pack of assholes, but with nice people stuck on both sides,” it’s one walking toxic gas cloud taunting another walking toxic gas cloud.

There are limits to using “asshole” as an insult. An asshole is necessary for the survival and good health of a body.

The criticisms would be apt coming from someone who isn’t already massacring his own people.

So now I feel like the solution to this feud is to put both Trump and Assad alone together in a room with a day’s worth of food and water, and then lock the door. At the end of a week, we open the door and see who’s still alive. The survivor gets a cabin in the mountains with full utilities and regular food deliveries, but only the most rudimentary communication devices. Like, he can call 911, he can call the power company, but he can’t get in touch with his goon squad. And he can’t have a pet. He can have houseplants. He can’t be trusted not to abuse a pet.

What are we eating for dinner?

florida-peanut-crusted-chicken-with-carrot-cucumber-salad_recipe

I feel like the country was all seated in a giant dining room, hungrily waiting for our dinner to be served, and the restaurant manager came out and told us: “We can only cook one dish for everyone, so we’ll choose based on which option gets the most requests. There are two meal options, so the vote will be simple. One option is a chicken entree. The other option is a heaping bowl of toxic waste garnished with broken glass.”

The outcome is that we’re all going to spend the next four years (hopefully not eight) eating toxic waste and broken glass because too many people couldn’t be bothered to ask for chicken.

 

Nov. 8th was the longest night of 2016

To the rest of the world: Progressive America is just as appalled as you are. That may be small comfort, but there are still some sensible people here and we’re doing our best to hold the place together. Please don’t give up on us.

I’ll have more coherent thoughts later, but, for now: the reason why Donald Trump just won the Presidential election is that too many people could have voted for Hillary Clinton, and didn’t.

We can go back and forth about why it worked out that way, but, on balance, if you are someone who is able to vote in the United States, and you did not vote for the Clinton/Kaine ticket, you are part of the problem.

I’d say “move to Canada,” except they don’t need your apathetic, ambivalent asses up there taking up valuable oxygen. Stay here in the States, sleep in the bed you’ve made, and do better in the future.