The Dumpster of Dragonfire

Seems the last thing I posted on this blog was sharing my feelings on the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones.

My feelings have not changed since the finale.

I’d really like to get all my thoughts on the matter in one place. I want to make the Master Case for how the final season of GOT completely gave up on making sense.

I mean…the finale was not worse than Ep5. The finale was much better than Ep5. This is not a high bar. The finale…still did not explain all the ways in which the story went tits-up.

Today is not the day for a Master Case. I’m trying to find a new job right now—oh, boy, there is a can of worms—and that is a higher priority than anything I have to say about GOT. I have an interview for a viable position today, so knock on wood, I’ll be able to get back to media criticism very soon. For now, let’s just assume I’ll write little bits here and there until I have enough content to warrant some structure.

And it’s not like I haven’t been writing about this ish already. Just that I’ve been doing most of my writing on Tumblr. WordPress feels more like the place where I need to have my act together, whereas Tumblr is the place where I just puke up a few profanities and call it a post.

As for my case against the GOT final season, the hard part is knowing where to begin.

So I’ll make this complaint my opening statement:

If Bran Stark knew all along that he was supposed to be Lord of the Six Kingdoms, he has a LOT of explaining to do.

 

Game of Speculation: Occam’s Horseback

Much of my prediction-making for next Game of Thrones season has been loosely based on the principle of Occam’s Razor: one should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities needed to explain anything.

In terms of explaining something that has already happened or is still happening now, the Razor basically means the simplest explanation, without leaving any visible gaps, tends to be the right one.

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Game of Hype: Is that a challenge?

Both Winter and Watchers share with us the first HBO-made teaser for Game of Thrones S6! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

So, basically: no new information. This is not surprising, given that they’re still filming. I expect they’ll also need some time for post-production before they have sufficiently polished footage for a real hype-generating trailer. Still, this one does not let me know whether I’ve embarrassed myself on anything big.

The last line, though: “They have no idea what’s going to happen.”

In context, this is Bran talking about the situation in Westeros, and how the realm is so thoroughly unprepared for the White Walkers and the onset of winter.

In the trailer, I see everyone basically in agreement that this is D&D’s way of fucking with us: We, the fans, have no idea what’ll happen!

You know…*sips wine*, there are still some areas where I’m frustrated with the lack of filming info, but overall, if you look through a lot of what I’ve written in the “game of thrones” tag over the last several months, you might notice, *sips wine*, I have some ideas. Like, I’m sure I’ll be shocked at some things that happen in S6, but I think I’ll be shocked a lot less often than most of the audience.

Wine is good.

 

Bran’s coming back in Season 6! You know it!

Of course he is, but now we have confirmation from Isaac Hampstead-Wright:

“I can’t say a lot, but I am back this season, and it’s going to get particularly interesting with Bran,” Wright said. “He has some interesting visions.”

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

I was just doing some write-doodling (wroodling?) on my morning commute a few days ago, concerning possible opening scenes for Season 6. Yes, this is the sort of thing I do to occupy my brain when I’m between Internet connections in the morning.

So I did a run-down of the opening sequence for each season thus far, and asked: what have we not seen yet? What seems to be coming up next? We’ve so far had two north-of-the-Wall openings (1 and 3), two in King’s Landing (2 and 4), three Lannister-centric openings (2, 4 and 5), two concerning the Night’s Watch. So far we haven’t had an opening scene that centers on the Starks.

I think the most likely opening sequence for Season 6 will be Bran Stark, wrapped up in his tree, having some visions concerning the White Walkers! Let me ‘splain below:

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