Time to step up my game.

If my ISP is to be allowed to sell my browsing history to advertisers, I want that browsing history to make someone shit their pants. If someone looked at it now, they’d find mostly gardening advice and writing gadgets. Of course there’s a bit of weird shit, because that’s what happens when novelists have Internet access, but even the weird shit is expressed in its most bland, innocuous form. If browsing history is going to be a corporate commodity, then I aim to make corporate bigwigs have nightmares from looking through my “story research.” They should be too afraid to contact the sorts of businesses that might cater to my tastes.

 

Literally everyone benefits from quality maternity and pediatric care.

Aside from the arguments in favor of universal health care in general, there is an important reason why coverage of prenatal, maternity, newborn, and pediatric care should be mandatory and comprehensive.

It’s not just that we were all gestated and born at one point. That’s valid, but it’s bigger than that.

A society depends on the production of new human beings. That much is surely beyond dispute? Additionally, older people depend on the labor of younger people. There are people being gestated and born right now, whose labor will make our quality of life possible later.

This idea of “I’m an older man, so I don’t need maternity care”? Bullshit. You need other people to have maternity and pediatric care. The older you get, the more your life depends on healthy, hard-working young people. Who picks up your garbage? Who drives the bus you take to your appointments? Who tends the crops you eat? Who drives the ambulance when you have a medical emergency? When you go out to eat, who prepares your meal, and who brings it to the table? When you’re at the hospital, who treats you? Who changes your IV? When you reach the stage of life where you’re frail and feeble and can’t take care of yourself anymore, who keeps you alive and comfortable? (Last time I visited my grandmother at the nursing home, the answer was: younger women from west Africa and the Caribbean. We’re benefitting from immigrant labor as well pregnant women having healthcare.) 

Prenatal and maternity care ensure that children are born alive and have healthy mothers to raise them. Newborn and pediatric care ensure that those children reach adulthood in optimal health. We need a new generation of functioning adults to ensure that older people have a decent quality of life and don’t die prematurely of preventable causes. For that, we need medical care for pregnant and birthing people, for new babies, and young children, regardless of their income bracket. That heavily pregnant young woman using WIC to pay for her groceries? Some day, her child will keep you alive.

The lives of older men depend on the availability of maternity care.

We all have our anxieties

This happened on Twitter the other day:

A lot of us, myself included, have already responded.

Political views, held by a sufficient number of people, lead to behaviors and policies. Those behaviors and policies can make people’s lives better, or make them worse. I suppose some policies help some people and hurt others? Sometimes it’s a non-zero-sum game, though. Many policies ruin lives and don’t really help anyone except perhaps to let them feel superior. Other policies improve lives and don’t actually hurt anyone except to the extent of making them live in a world in which the “wrong” people are protected.

The reason why people with conservative views are “labeled negatively” is that many people are living in fear and/or dying young because of the behaviors and policies that follow from those views.

To paraphrase Margaret Atwood: Conservatives are afraid liberals will insult them. Liberals are afraid conservatives will kill them.

 

It won’t happen, but IF it does…

I would like Steve King to understand that even if the US Gov manages to force me to have babies (which is bloody unlikely), they will probably be mixed-race babies. Not saying that to spite anyone, not saying the existence of biracial people negates racism. Just saying, I live in a very diverse area and it’s too late to stuff that genie back in the bottle.

Guys don’t need to wear anything special.

Today’s the scheduled Day Without Women, and here I am at work and hardly even wearing red.

Someone asked: when’s the Day Without Men?

You know what? I actually think this is a great idea. We should absolutely have a Day Without Men. A whole 24-hour period in which men don’t show up.

Here’s how it’ll go: Men, don’t go to work. Just say at home. No need to wear any special colors. Since you’re spending the day at home, you can go naked for all I care. Don’t go outside; no shopping. You can order stuff online if you like. Don’t make charity donations. Don’t look at social media. No phone calls except for 911 emergencies. You can text your guy friends, but don’t make contact with any women except for the ones that live in your house, and even then, the interaction should mostly be asking what household chores you can do while they’re at work. Definitely do NOT go on Twitter and engage with feminists talking about the wage gap or street harassment. Stay off YouTube and OKCupid.

Okay, I can make exceptions. If you’re an EMT, a firefighter, an ER physician or nurse, or one of the guys who repair power lines, then please go to work as scheduled. Everyone else: stay home behind closed doors.

Hell, we can even schedule it on a weekend to minimize the number of men who have to take a day off work. From 6 am to the next 5:59 am, all men stay in their homes. Then women will find out what it’s like to go a day without men.

But…?

When Congress “can’t find” the bill to replace the ACA, I’m fairly sure that means they can’t find the bill because they forgot to write one.

I mean come on, you sorry dingbats. It wasn’t written by hand in someone’s Composition notebook! Surely there’s a .doc file on someone’s computer? A copy saved on Google Drive? Shared Dropbox folder? Even if the final draft was saved on a USB drive that some braindead intern accidentally took home in the back pocket of their messenger bag, there should be other, only slightly earlier, drafts saved elsewhere. This isn’t rocket science.

Either the bill doesn’t exist, or it’s been written and printed but it’s so awful they don’t want us to know what’s in it and they’ll vote on it at like 2 AM so we won’t be able to rain shit on their heads before the SCROTUS gets his pen on it.

I assume there were several legislators involved in drafting this bill. Even if it was just one, there must have been some staffers involved in the process. Surely, there must be at least one adult who knows where the bill was saved and has the executive functioning to print a fresh copy.

This administration keeps on finding new ways to disgust me.

 

I just can’t get excited over a steak

Everyone’s talking about the travesty that is Trumpty Numpty ordering a $54 steak well-done and covering it in ketchup. And sure, that sounds obnoxious, but Kate Harding on Facebook posted a photo of a guy holding up a sign at a protest rally: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A DOG.”

I mean…that tells you so much more about the SCROTUS’s character than how he eats a steak. Even Nixon had a dog! I have this headcanon where Trumpty Numpty is so gross, even my brother’s dog wouldn’t get close enough to accept a treat from him. He and Melania once got a little pooch for Barron, and that dog was Barron’s best friend whenever his dad was away, but it turned into a little killing machine whenever The Donald showed up, so they had to give it back. Cats are just as bad; they constantly try to escape the penthouse, and they’d rather fall off the top of Trump Tower than stay one more minute in that man’s presence. Cats love Melania (although I don’t let her off the hook), and dogs love Barron, but all companion animals flee at the sight of Commander-in-Cheeto.

 

I could be Secretary of the Treasury

I was just saying earlier on Facebook and Twitter: I have a bit of teaching experience, so I’m way overqualified to teach stuff like science and math to kids if Betsy DeVos can be Secretary of Education.

And then it occurred to me: I work in Accounting. I do real-world-relevant Accounts Payable work for a living, and I’m good at it. I could put my name in for Secretary of the Treasury, and my resume would be more promising for the position than what we just allowed to take the Sec of Ed job.