#1262: “My housemate keeps exposing herself to me/the world/everyone.”

As someone who experienced body changes (read: weight gain) and didn’t process them with perfect honesty (read: trousers going pop), I can offer some wardrobe advice that doesn’t cost much money: multi-wear skirts. It can be a skirt, a dress, a cute top, a cape…it’ll cover her buttcrack without being expensive. It can be pretty and versatile. Barring that, she can get a simple house-robe at any big box store (I got a very comfy black one at Target) and wear it around the house. A kimono can easily become daytime wear with leggings and a t-shirt.

When I was getting fat from the stress of working a dysfunctional office job and didn’t want to acknowledge my body’s needs, my wardrobe was some combination of: leggings, basic tank top or t-shirt, multi-wear skirt. I made it look cute, it kept all the crucial areas covered, and it wasn’t expensive.


Dear Captain Awkward,

My 50+ y/o housemate has a problem, and I don’t know how to help. Sounds stupid but her pants are always falling down. At any given moment inch(es) of her rear crack are exposed. It started years ago, most often when she would bend over, but it has progressively gotten worse–any time she stands up or walks about. I’m not sure of the cause. She does wear a belt. I can only guess that her pants–jeans 90% of the time–and skivvies are the wrong size or cut. She is pretty flat back there. Yet that’s only part of the problem.

The real problem is that she is hypersensitive about it, and any attempt to bring it to her attention, either subtly or more directly, elicits only an angry response as if it’s a disability that she can’t do anything about. She’ll bark “I know!” when either she…

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About alysonmiers

Alyson the Incorrigible of House Miers; High Priestess of Sparkly Fractal Flames; Summoner of Creative Insults; Wrangler of Adverbs, Semicolons and Conditional Clauses; Bane of Euphemisms; Mixer of Genres; and Mother of Witches.