“I assume the worst.”

Right now I’m working on a little essay on the Twincest breakup (!!!), but for now, I’ll just share a few thoughts on the Game of Thrones Season 7 finale:

Possibly my least favorite moment was the part where Sandor approaches FrankenGregor and says “we know who’s coming for you.” First things first: Cleganebowl did not happen. Second: that D&D are willing to have Sandor step up to his brother and threaten him out loud means the ultimate grudge match isn’t happening. All that said? They’re just feeding the Cleganebowl hype, and I’ll have to spend another year and a half (two?) watching journalists with big media platforms acting like Cleganebowl is totally happening in Season 8.

Theon is my dear sweet kraken and I am so proud of him. I am so tickled at how he used his dismemberment as an advantage in a fight, and how he was brave enough to step up for that fight in the first place. Sometimes, the best guy to follow is the one with no balls! Now get out there and show up for your sister!

Anyone who’s seen this episode and still insists on Jaime being the Valonqar is simply choosing to be wrong. In both books and show, it’s logistically awkward and thematically counter-productive. Following the Season 7 finale, though, Jaime isn’t just riding off in the wrong geographical direction for killing his sister; he’s lost his status as the Ironically Unforeseen. By walking away from Cersei, he’s marked himself as her enemy, and he knows it. At this point, there would be no “oh shit” factor in him killing Cersei. He’s no longer the loving twin she thinks she can always trust. He’s just another traitor to her now. There is no sense in which Jaime killing Cersei would be a satisfying development.

Prince Rhaegar was the Ain’t Shittest of all the Ain’t Shits. Yeah, okay, he charmed Lyanna well enough to get her to do the marriage vows. He also left his first wife Elia Martell high and dry in the capital, thinking her marriage was still valid and her kids were still in line for the throne. And then he had the shit taste to tell Lyanna to give her baby boy the same name as he’d already named his son with Elia. Bran was wrong to say Robert’s Rebellion was built on a lie. At most, it started with a big misunderstanding, and even then Rhaegar could have prevented that misunderstanding by communicating with Rickard Stark. That he eloped with Lyanna and didn’t tell her family what was going on was incredibly irresponsible of him. He left his paranoid, volatile, sadistic father in charge and I don’t think Aerys understood what was going on with his son, either. Once the misunderstanding was in process, Aerys literally burned Lord Rickard alive and executed his son Brandon at the same time, then expected Jon Arryn to hand over Ned and Robert for similarly disgusting executions. Ask Jaime about the Targaryens falling victim to a lie. Ask him how fit Aerys was to rule. Jon will always be a Stark to me, and the name Aegon does not suit him. Jon is so much better off for having grown up as Ned’s son.

I am so freaking proud of my Stark kids for turning the tables on Littlefucker. Arya poking him in the neck with the fancy dagger he used to mislead Catelyn, was so very poetic. You know what I liked even more than Littlefucker bleeding all over the Great Hall, though? It was the part where Sansa laid it all out: Littlefucker conspired to murder Jon Arryn, he told Lysa to write a letter to the Starks saying the Lannisters killed Jon Arryn, but it wasn’t the Lannisters, it was Littlefucker. The conflict between the Starks and the Lannisters: he started it. It’s so very gratifying to hear it from someone, who has no incentive to seek the Lannisters’ favor, putting it in such plain terms. Littlefucker created the conflict between the Starks and Lannisters. Sansa knows who her enemies are, she knows who her allies are, and she’s much better at creating allies than making new enemies.

2 thoughts on ““I assume the worst.”

  1. Holy kentucky cheeseballs. You. Are. AMAZING! I’ve read your Brienne and Jaime essays and I gotta admit, the dedication and the time you put on them, I couldn’t do it even if someone offers me the world’s biggest pizza. Thanm you for that. Thank you for clearing out that Jaime and Brienne are possible to be together. I never really read the books so those phrases you provided from the books, they were REALLY helpful. I laughed at some parts of the essays coz you’re damn funny. Hope you keep this up!

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