You guys really want more of me running around?

To all the conservative dudes always harping on about how we crazed feminazis want you to pay for our birth control…

…well, actually, unless you’re paying our insurance premiums for us, you ain’t payin’ for shit around here, but even if we wanted you to shell out for our contraceptives, here’s the thing:

I know the overall goal is for more unplanned babies in general, but think about this: if more of us are giving birth, the overwhelming majority of us are keeping the babies. And do you really want us raising the next generation? Do you really look at my foul-mouthed, wine-chugging, queer, casual-sex-having, atheist, tattooed, fat ass and say, “I want to see more people like that in the world”? I guarantee you the moment we get medical marijuana in Maryland, I’m gettin’ me a prescription. I’d do shrooms if I had a reliable source. I use profanity around toddlers. Do you really want me to be someone’s mommy? 

Face it, birth control without co-pay is good for all of us.