Fuck me with a chainsaw and bugger me with a spear.
I see yet another upheaval happening in my circle of progressive queer/friendly atheists on Facebook.
I’m not going into details, and I’m not getting involved. I’ve been trying to fight off a fresh bout of depression for the past couple of weeks, and I can’t afford any further strain on my emotional workload.
You’re either capable of taking responsibility for your actions, or you’re not. After all the explanations, and all the mitigating factors, and all the who-did-what-to-whom and what kind of care people need in certain situations, after all those nuances are properly accounted for, that’s what it ultimately comes down to: you either are able and willing to take responsibility for your actions, or you’re not.
For the benefit of those who know of the situation I’m Vague-pressing tonight: I will stipulate that “taking responsibility” includes a position something like, “Even though I was literally incapable of behaving otherwise at the time because of (XYZ situation), I understand if (Person Being Harmed) doesn’t want me in their life anymore after the destruction I caused.” I’ll make room for us to acknowledge when destructive behavior is a symptom rather than a moral failure.
And with that allowance made: You’re either capable of taking responsibility for your actions, or you’re not.
If you exhibit a pattern of behavior that demonstrates inability to take responsibility for your actions, then ultimately, people won’t trust you.