In which we finally see Uncle Kevan

Greetings, fellow Throners! Last night I proved my loyalty to FanSided by writing TWO articles back to back between 9 PM and 12 AM, one of which has been stuck in “editing” for hours today.

It’s still Monday and our UK peeps are still waiting to see the ep, so I will put this biz under a cut.

At the Wall: I am ABSOLUTELY here for Davos playing Daddy to Confused Naked Jon. I appreciate hanging the mutineers, but what I really care about is Davos showing up and being his awesome self with our favorite Northern bastard.

King’s Landing: THERE’S UNCLE KEVAN. AND THE TYRELLS. FINALLY. Still no Loras. Still no Bronn or Lancel, though there’s an argument to be made that Bronn and Lancel are being kept out of sight until a certain point because they’re going to reveal some vital information, and it needs to be an explosion. This ep was a teensy bit annoying in that Jaime didn’t have much to do, but it DID establish that Cersei doesn’t really have power anymore except to the extent that Qyburn can still help her and FrankenGregor can go around smashing skulls. Anyway. We finally see Uncle Kevan acting as Hand of the King, and refusing to humor his homicidal niece’s power plays. Next time, I think Jaime should go to the Small Council meeting alone. He does have that right. That he’s been skipping meetings lately doesn’t change the fact that he’s the Lord Commander and he has a seat at the table.

Arya: Anyone else notice how the Waif got way too interested in Arya talking about the Hound? And she really perked up when Arya mentioned Walder Frey? Yeah, shit’s happening in the Riverlands later on.

Meereen: seems like the writers accelerated Tyrion’s story to get him to Dany’s service way ahead of schedule, and now they don’t have much to do with him. That time he spent trying and failing to get the kids to play with him could’ve been spent doing other things.

Winterfell: one of the pieces I wrote last night is my thoughts on the situation of Rickon and Osha being handed over to Ramsay-fucking-Bolton. I’ve had a bit more time to think about it since last night, and I would like to add: what is the function of Osha’s presence at Rickon’s side? Rickon is a valuable hostage to Ramsay, but Osha has basically no value to anyone outside of Rickon, and surely the new Lord Umber should know that. If Ramsay needs someone to keep his new hostage well-fed and groomed, I’m sure there are servants already at Winterfell who can deal with an unruly boy. Look at Umber’s behavior toward Ramsay, particularly his outright refusal to kneel, and think about the implications of Osha being there with Rickon, and I suspect that “gift” to Ramsay is more of a Trojan horse. With that being said, I’m sure Rickon is in harm’s way just because he’s in Ramsay’s custody, and I suspect Umber really does want Ramsay to help him combat the wildling threat. But I’m not satisfied that the severed wolf’s head is from a direwolf, and I think, on balance, Ramsay should not trust the loyalty of a bannerman who refuses to kneel.

TOWER OF JOY. OH YES. OH FUCKING YES. As soon as I saw Baby Ned, it was ON. That, my dears, is how you do a fight scene. Ser Arthur Daaaaamn will show you how it’s done.

NEXT WEEK: We finally get Littlefinger, and now we know he’s in the Vale with Sweetrobin and the Royces. He seems to have gotten the news that Sansa is on the run from the Boltons. I sort of thought he might have been told she’d been abducted, but we’re finally seeing that slippery bird again.

We get Theon returning to his sister! She is not the least bit amused. Poor kid just goes from one punishment to the next.

We get Team Sansa entering another castle! I guess Castle Black is the likeliest destination, but remember how Wun Wun stomped down the gate of Castle Black last week? How is there still a gate to open? I’m sort of hoping they’re actually stopping at a different castle first. Lemme check the map and see what’s available.

I’m hoping we get a follow-up on the Tower of Joy so we can finally see Lyanna in there for the Biggest Reveal of Ice and Fire, but they might torture us for a few more weeks.