First self-embarrassment of the season.

It’s Game of Thrones premiere night, bitches! Season 6 is upon us, whether we would risk it or not! To celebrate the occasion, I wrote up a fun little slide show for FanSided which they just posted this morning: 15 Characters Likely to Die in Season 6! You know you’re a GoT fan when writing up a Death List is a fun assignment.

With that in mind, I’ve already embarrassed myself a little bit. Below the cut I will talk about the dreaded SPOILERS that turned up on Friday. I won’t actually give away details, but I will admit that the spoilers are not just the work of some Photoshop enthusiast who wants to fuck with us.

Well, here’s what happened: someone posted the spoilers to Reddit, with supporting screenshots, and one of the deaths listed was so thoroughly incoherent I was convinced it was a fake. Even the screenshot seemed dodgy; the character’s hair is too long and his clothes are different from what he was wearing in the S5 finale. Even worse was that the circumstances of the death made no sense whatsoever. I was just like, “No, there’s no way that could happen, it’s logistically impossible.” So I figured: at least one of those “spoilers” was bullshit, so the rest of them are also suspect.

Okay. Since then, I saw a more thorough corroboration of those events at another source. The corroboration included an explanation of the death circumstances, which showed me my error: I had greatly underestimated D&D’s willingness to engage in completely incoherent storytelling. What I’m hearing is actually kind of impressive. Not that I’m defending their choices, just that I’m sort of in awe of their willingness to chuck out continuity, nuance, and realistic consequences to get their pieces in the right place. We’re talking balls-to-the-wall nonsense here, folks.

The practical upshot for my predictions is that I can check at least one character off my list already, but I was greatly mistaken about the circumstances of his death. I predicted a mid-season death, arranged by a certain King’s Landing figure. Instead we’re getting a first-episode death, arranged by a completely different set of people.

I’m still looking forward to the season. Lots of people to catch up with.