Someone is telling a heap of lies.

A link to this gem popped up in my Facebook feed this morning, and oh dear, what a perfect Gordian knot of online dating FAIL.

The content is all screenshots, and I can’t be bothered to save/upload/display them on this blog, so I recommend you follow the link to see how the conversation goes. I will fill in with my commentary. My thoughts, occurring in approximately this order:

  1. If she’s not interested, then you can move on. She doesn’t need to explain her lack of interest.
  2. Nobody cares about who your dad’s best friend is, and what makes you think a woman wants to go into the Bruins locker room for a date? Mert da ferk?
  3. If you have to insist that you photo like shit, you’re probably even worse-looking in real life. I know some people tend to look worse in photos than in real life (I often feel that way about myself), but take some time with a camera and eventually something decent-looking will come out. I don’t believe this idea of “super-handsome guy who just happens to look awful in all photos all the time” actually exists.
  4. If you need to insist that you are “super-handsome and a fucking rich lawyer,” you’re neither of those things. Remember what Tywin Lannister said in Season 3, regarding his revolting grandson Joffrey? Any man who says, “I am the king!” is not really the king. I think you’re lying about being handsome and rich. And even if you are handsome and rich, at some point your shitty personality outweighs your good looks and money.
  5. You’re probably not better-looking and you probably don’t have a better career than the girls on the site, but even if you did, they still aren’t obligated to respond to your messages. Fuckhead.
  6. You box all the decent-looking women into 3 categories of failure, and meanwhile you complain that women are too picky. Dude, really?
  7. Oddly enough, I do want my partner to be good-looking. Not gonna lie anymore. Personality is most important, but I’m all done pretending looks don’t matter. I want to be able to look at my partner and not cringe. Money doesn’t matter to me now nearly as much as it used to, and that’s mainly because I’m all done trying to achieve long-term monogamy. And I don’t feel bad about wanting to enjoy the way my partner looks. Of all the people who message me on OKC, I’d say they’re highly variable in how much they’ve registered of my personality and talents, but 90-100% of them appreciate my facial proportions. If I’m rewarded for not looking like a toadstool, I can seek out decent-looking people, too.
  8. Butt-nugget, she ignored your earlier messages because personality is the most important thing to her, and you demonstrate a shitty personality in your messages. Question answers itself.
  9. I’ll bet you didn’t attend a military academy, either, and you’ve already shown a serious paucity of respect for women.
  10. Based on the credibility of your messages thus far, I’m willing to bet that your beautiful, great-personality-having gal-pal isn’t really suffering from an inability to find a man due to her being too picky and getting too close to 30, so much as that she isn’t actually trying to find a man because her awesome self has better things to do with her time.
  11. Why is it totally natural, inevitable and acceptable for men to prefer younger women, but it’s so infuriating that women have their own ideas of what makes a desirable partner? Why can’t women seek some balance of personality, competence, good looks and maybe even financial stability? Do you ever register the absurdity in men being supposedly so overwhelmingly fixated on young, slender, symmetrically flawless, endlessly patient, good-humored women who aren’t too picky?
  12. While we’re at it: we still have plenty of options past 30. Yeah. We do. I just turned 35 within the past month. The flood of OKC notifications just after my birthday spoke for itself.
  13. One more time: I don’t believe you’re handsome, and I don’t believe you’re a lawyer or that you busted your ass for anything worth bragging about. I assume you’re an ugly fucker with a humdrum job and a huge pile of credit card debt. I don’t believe women flirt with you every day. If they do, maybe you should ask them out rather than try to browbeat uninterested women online into giving you what you want.

One of his “categories” of good-looking women on a dating site is “balls to the wall fucking crazy.” If some of us seem a little unhinged at times, this sort of male entitlement goes a long way to explaining how we get that way.