No, see, that’s where I think you’re lying.

Here’s another thing that popped up in my OKC inbox:

  
Judging by her use of “we” pronouns, I suspect this user represents a couple who are looking for a threesome partner. And that’s fine! I’m not interested in threesome-ing, but good luck to them. Compared to most unicorn-hunters, this one seems fairly inoffensive. I see at least one face in the profile pic, and the language they use in the message is (while grammatically cringeworthy) more comforting than what I usually get from couples seeking bi women. I suspect this young woman and her boyfriend are more likeable people than most of the pairs that want a piece of my ass. 

When they say they “read [my] profile and like it,” though? Nah, I don’t believe they read my profile. I put a clause in my profile in which I encourage interested users to pay me a compliment that has nothing to do with my looks. That shouldn’t be too difficult, yes? I mean, if you’re messaging me on OKCupid, I assume you can look at me and not cringe. If you want to take up my time, surely you should be able to appreciate something about me aside from the fact that I’m not ugly. I don’t think that’s asking too much, and yet so many people cannot give me this much when they show up in my inbox. They all want to tell me I’m pretty! In the grand scheme, it’s not a bad problem to have, but if they can’t even be bothered to puke up something basic like, “You seem smart and have interesting hobbies,” then we won’t get along very well. (If they simply have terrible reading comprehension, I feel for them, but we still won’t get along.) Telling me I’m pretty is boring. Do better.

So with that in mind, I don’t think this user liked my profile. I’m not convinced they even visited my profile. I think this is yet another user who ran a search for bi women within a certain geographical radius and age range, gathered up all the usernames with decent-looking profile pics, and sent the same message to all of them at once. That shit is insulting, folks. We’re not an undifferentiated mass of interchangeable bodies. Do not treat us like we’re all the same. 

I’m not surprised our match percentage is only 60%.