I Enjoy This Too Much: “Gold, sapphires, whatever you want.”

Two words: BEAR. PIT.

Jaime finds out that his malarkey about sapphires failed to outrun their captors. Locke is unsatisfied with Lord Selwyn’s offer of a paltry 300 gold dragons rather than the biggest load of gemstones anyone’s ever seen. With the news that his tall, butch blonde is in a bad situation with no allies, Jaime forces his escort to gallop with him back to Harrenhal right this minute.

We all know how they find her. With a bullshit sword and no armor, in the close company of an unfriendly bear. Jaime thinks he can fall back on money to get control of the situation.

Jaime is talking to Locke, looking unkempt, tired and determined. His line on the show is:

Jaime is talking to Locke, looking unkempt, tired and determined. His line on the show is: “Gold, sapphires, whatever you want.” I have added: “You maimed me, and now I’m bribing you if that’s what it takes to keep me and my swordswench together.” Also: “Of course we’ll give you a loud, messy death later.”

“You want her? Go get her.”

Jaime and Brienne are facing the camera. There is no caption from HBO. I have added speech bubbles, in which Jaime says,

Jaime and Brienne are facing the camera. There is no caption from HBO. I have added speech bubbles, in which Jaime says, “I’m here to protect you, my lady!” and Brienne says, “Didn’t you try to kill me a week ago?”

Weird, how I can’t seem to let him live that down.

Anyway, Jaime has dozens of northmen armed with bows and arrows on his side, and he and his big swordswench are both tough motherfuckers, so, sure, they make it out of there alive.

Brienne is wounded but healthy, and speaking to Locke, who is not visible in this shot. I have added a speech bubble:

Brienne is wounded but healthy, and speaking to Locke, who is not visible in this shot. I have added a speech bubble: “You maimed him, and he still won.”

Those claw marks look nasty, but she’ll be okay.

Jaime is looking somewhat more energetic now. His line from the show is:

Jaime is looking somewhat more energetic now. His line from the show is: “We’re taking her to King’s Landing.” I have added: “Taking my lady home to meet the fam!”

I jest, of course I jest. His fam includes Cersei. Fucking Cersei. Yes, literally, FUCKING Cersei.

I’m not finished being awful.

Jaime and Brienne are walking to stage left. There is no dialogue from the show, but I have added a speech bubble for Jaime:

Jaime and Brienne are walking to stage left. There is no dialogue from the show, but I have added a speech bubble for Jaime: “The things I do for love.”

That’s enough for today.