I Enjoy This Too Much: “Where did you find this beast?”

You can’t trust me to behave like a responsible 30something, you can’t trust me to be a productive writer, but you can, at least for now, trust me to fuck around with Game of Thrones screencaps and be ridiculously obsessed with Jaime & Brienne. You know it. My latest notion was to rewrite choice bits of their dialogue to make it more honest, because we all know that is the best possible use of graphics creator apps for iPad. I have dozens of shots saved up, far too many for one post, so instead there will lots of posts. I’ll go in roughly chronological order. I will mostly focus on the show, but occasionally dip into information from the books. If you haven’t read the books, the post I’ve linked above will show you what the hell I’m on about.

First up! Their first encounter on the show: Season 2, Episodes 7 and 8, in which Jaime is entirely too interested in getting acquainted with the big wench.

Jaime is chained up in the dark. HBO's dialogue: "Is that a woman?" My dialogue: "Do I see a woman who's taller than I am? That's amazing!"

Jaime is chained up in the dark. HBO’s dialogue: “Is that a woman?” My dialogue: “Do I see a woman who’s taller than I am? That’s amazing!”

As you can see, I am putting iDraw for iPad to the most ambitious possible use.

HBO's dialogue: "Where did you find this beast?" My dialogue: "Lady Stark, who gives a fuck about the Mad King? Tell me about that tall, butch blonde standing behind you!"

HBO’s dialogue: “Where did you find this beast?” My dialogue: “Lady Stark, who gives a fuck about the Mad King? Tell me about that tall, butch blonde standing behind you!”

“And if you have one available, I’d like a smaller version for Tyrion.”

The next morning, fresh off the horse! HBO's line: "You're much uglier in daylight." My line: "I'm mentally comparing you to my sister."

The next morning, fresh off the horse! HBO’s line: “You’re much uglier in daylight.” My line: “I’m mentally comparing you to my sister.”

“I just insulted your appearance, now tell me all about yourself so we can be best friends.”