The questions are going around. Of course they’ve been going around for months already; these are the questions that come up whenever we hear about a rape. “Why did she put herself in that position?” “Why did she drink so much?” “No one forced her to be in that house with those boys.”
Rape is always in the passive voice, it’s always about what happened to the victim rather than what the rapist chose to do, and so on and so forth.
Now, I’m not saying that 14-year-old girls “should” binge drink, or that it’s totally a good idea to hang out with older boys without adult supervision. I’m just saying there are other questions we should ask before we get started on Daisy Coleman’s poor judgment.
Such as: “If Matt Barnett and his friends couldn’t control themselves in the presence of younger girls, then why did he drive his car to the Coleman house and transport those girls to his unsupervised, booze-soaked party? This whole situation would have been avoided if he had simply not gone to their house. The girls were texting him, but they didn’t force him to get in the car.”
Also: “If Matt Barnett was so sure that Daisy Coleman wanted to have sex with him, then why did he pour two large glasses of Bacardi Big Apple down the already-tipsy girl’s throat? A 14-year-old girl does not hold her liquor nearly as well as a strapping 17-year-old boy, and Matt surely knew that much better than Daisy. If Matt hadn’t put that liquor in her hands, and if he hadn’t encouraged her to drink up, she wouldn’t have gotten so drunk, and she wouldn’t have been so vulnerable. Why was Matt Barnett so eager to see a 14-year-old girl drink as much as possible?”
Finally: “Why did Matt and the guys leave blackout-drunk, inadequately-dressed Daisy out on her front lawn in dangerously cold weather? Why didn’t they take her inside along with her friend and put her to bed so she wouldn’t be in danger of freezing to death? If they’d taken her inside, her mother might not have discovered the evidence of her rape, and Matt would not have been charged with endangering the welfare of a child.”
After we’ve finished discussing those aspects of the incident, THEN we can start talking about what Daisy Coleman should have known beforehand.