“Love the sinner, hate the sin” DOES NOT WORK.

I see from a friend that this is going around Facebook:

lovethesinnerhatethesin_nonsense

Yeah. First of all, on behalf of my Christian friends and family who are LGBTs or straight allies and who don’t use the Bible as a support system for bigotry, I am offended.

I want you to picture me as Roz in Monsters Inc. when I say the scare quotes around “homosexual marriage” are VERY REASSURING.

I suppose it’s possible to hold the position that homosexuality is bad because the Bible says so, while also insisting that queer and gender non-conforming teenagers should be able to walk the halls of their high schools without being name-called, assaulted or otherwise humiliated. I guess it’s possible to straddle that line. But people who are inclined to engage in bullying behavior are not going to practice similar restraint. Ideas like this contribute to a climate in which bullying is tolerated. They allow the bullies to feel justified, even obligated, to make certain people unsafe and unwelcome. You may think this is a position of love and friendship, but when we see messages like this, we don’t feel loved.

We could talk about how sexual minorities suffer far more pervasive and multifactorial discrimination than just stereotyping and name-calling, but really, I’m not interested in playing Oppression Olympics. We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re suffering “enough” to call out nonsense as we see it. Your right to stand for what you believe does not preclude our right to call you a bigot or homophobe when you support homophobic bigotry.

Same-sex relationships don’t do you any harm. Disapproving of those relationships, and advocating for their exclusion from civil marriage, is a choice. You do not get to demand that we exempt you from the consequences of that choice because you still love us and we’re still friends.