Smart kids grow into drunken adults.

Yay! I am validated!

According to two long-term studies — one American, one British —  there’s a correlation between smarts and a thirst for alcohol. The “more intelligent children in both studies grew up to drink alcohol more frequently and in greater quantities than less intelligent children,” says Liz Day at Discover. Why might this be the case?

One of their theories is:

Alcohol makes up for boring early years: “I’m surprised” by the findings, says Joanne Hinkel at The Frisky, so “here’s my pop-psychology theory” to explain it: “All that studying in childhood repressed kids so much that they’re still trying to compensate well into adulthood for all that fun they missed.” Granted, that’s just a theory.

Could the cumulative stress of an entire childhood spent dealing with mindless bullying have something to do with frequent binge-drinking in adulthood? Vodka is cheaper than therapy. I’m just sayin’.