This is arguably the greatest thing ever.

Cracked brings us tales of Mind-Blowing Structures Built in Secret, and in my entirely humble opinion, the guy who came up with #2 not only wins at life, but in fact he wins the entire universe, and the buddies who helped him build the thing pretty much win at life simply for having been close enough to him in the first place to get in on the act.

According to Oberto Airaudi — who prefers to go by Falco — since the age of 10 he has experienced paranormal visions from “a past life” of amazingly intricate temples. While that might just sound like the ramblings of someone who smoked whatever Coleridge was on when he wrote “Kubla Khan,” Falco has made it his lifelong goal to recreate his visions.

One night in August of 1978, Falco and some like-minded companions started digging into the mountainside. Over the next 14 years, they worked in four-hour shifts, using simple hand tools and sketches Falco had made of his vision. Rumors began circulating that something was going on under the house, and in 1992, police showed up at Falco’s front door. When he wouldn’t let them in, they threatened to use dynamite. Realizing that the cops were either serious or villains from a Disney movie, Falco and his fellow “Damanhurians” complied, leading the police through their secret door and into the mountain.

Witness Exhibit A, motherfuckers:
While you were building log cabins out of popsicle sticks...
This is the part where I differ from R. Jason Benson:
While Falco is clearly inspired by something higher, the truly baffling part of this is that he did all this with friends working for free, out of the kindness of their own hearts, to make a grown-up’s childhood vision a reality. We’re all for lending a helping hand to our friends, but we’re pretty sure we would have thrown down our tools after the first four-hour shift.
I don’t think it takes an especially trusting person to examine Falco’s artwork and figure out that this is possibly the most brilliantly creative madman in the world. It’s not terribly difficult to imagine how this guy’s faithful friends, with nothing better to do with their afternoons, said “Why not?” to the first handful of four-hour shifts. And then they figured out that not only is he serious, but he is actually clever enough to make this shit happen, and they realized that they had the power to be a part of the coolest secret hobby on Earth. How many people can say they bond with their buddies by participating in THAT?
I’m telling you, Disney could make a movie based on Falco & Co.’s lives, and they could make it fanatically true to life, and nobody would believe it was even loosely based on a true story. Why haven’t they made a movie about this already? Disney, if you’re not on this like a cheap shirt, then WHAT ARE YOU FOR?!